Day One, 12wbt, Rocky start...

So, I hit snooze, went back to bed, and woke up at....
du du du DUUUUU....
7:30!
I had to wake my husband up and be all, Oh My GOSH, it's 7:30!
We all thought it was 6:30.
So Day 1 on Michelle Bridges, and it's a bit bumpy.

I didn't do any exercise at all.
:(
But I ate almost exactly what I was supposed to!
The breakfast was pretty bad. Won't have that again.
Lunch was AWESOME! Will have that again.
And Dinner was bland :(
I'll try the Chicken Noodle Soup one more time.
I decided that I could use a tastier type of noodles, perhaps even home-made! But lower the amount so it's the same calories.
Cuz Vietnamese rice noodles are pretty bland.

I did, however, miss a snack somehow, and ended up eating 200 less than required.
Ooops!
No wonder I'm starving and grumpy!!!

Alarm set for 5:20am, hitting Body Pump at the gym.
No excuse!
Brekky all planned, lunch, and dinner will be soon.
Definitely all in this time.

Moving complete

So we're in the new house.
But that messed up my gym-attendance mo-jo.
Now it's been a week.
I'll go to Body Balance this evening I think.

I've signed up for Michelle Bridges 12wbt.
I've done it twice before, but I didn't ever completely do it.
This time around, I'll be following diet and exercise as much as possible.
It won't be easy, but it'll be worth it.

Round 2 starts Monday.
I've already got the shopping list and diary complete.
Now I just need to do the fitness test and measure up.

And last but not least, I need to decide if I'll do the Intermediate plan, or the 10km training plan.
Not sure yet.

Moving week!

Not only am I moving house this week, I'm also moving as in exercise as well!
I've given up on the Gladiator challenge, because I figured I'd have to do 2 classes a day to catch up, and that is not realistic at all!
But during the two weeks I was trying, it's like something has switched in my head.
It's like my soul is telling me, yeah twice a day is unrealistic, but once a day is possible - so DO IT!
I've turned into a gym junkie, and loving it!
Especially when I'm doing a full hour of Body Attack, and by the 7th track, I'm still up high energy - although my face is tomato red and sweat dripping everywhere, I'm still doing it!
I look at all these skinny-mini girls doing it and I KNOW I'm so much tougher than them.
Cuz I have an extra 50 lbs to jump around in!
I'm bad ass, and I know it.

How's the scale?
Well, it went up last week - like 194 up! - but that's cuz I'm building muscle.
Now it's going down again.
This morning 191.5.
Back to the beginning.
But I'm stronger, more fit, and feel awesome!
So NSV of the week: My life is better now.
I'm not where I want to be, but I'm not where I was.
And damn proud of it.

Peace!

Exercise is rockin!

Well, as you can see from the side bar "how I workout", I've been going pretty hard!
The scale isn't going down yet.
But it will.

Remember my 28 classes by the end of may challenge?
I was wrong.
It's 28 classes in 28 days!
Gladiator Challenge it's called.
It's day 8, and I've got 6 classes in...
Including 3 classes in the last 24 hours!
I'm exhausted!
But I'm well on my way.
I just need to do 1-2 classes every day.
I can do it!

I'm hoping to get photo's up ("Before" photo's) today.

Oh! My diet. How's that going?
Yeah, it's okay.
I'm not being too strict with myself, but I'm certainly trying.
I had a 10-day Detox kit that I never used, so I put together the menu plan and recipes, and went shopping.
I have in my fridge, gluten & yeast free bread - which is sooooo yummy! - and almond milk. I haven't kept the diet perfectly, but I'd say 85%. Not bad!
I'm not too focused on that at the moment, but I will continue to improve as the days go by, and my body keeps transforming with all this exercise.
I do find it easier to make healthy food choices when I'm putting all that effort into my work-outs.
Because who wants to reverse all that hard work just for a brief affair with junk food? Not me.

Over & out.

Learning.

I can't believe I fell (or was it jumped?) off the wagon so soon.
Well, actually I can believe it.
Because it is exactly what I do every time.
I get this motivation, determination, and plan going, then within 12-24 hours I'm done with it, I give up, and say to myself I'll start again on Monday (even if it's Tuesday).
But this time I'm getting back on straight away.
Because I have to! This is my last chance!
I feel that if I give up one more time, I'll be giving it up forever.
And forever won't be too long, because I'll end up dying of a heart attack or diabetes, or cancer like my dad at the age of 47.
That won't do.
I want to live until I'm 100! Or at least 94, like both of my husband's grandmas (on both sides) - both healthy as can be, still walking every day, and mental health in perfect order!
So blessed to have them as an example!

But to do that, I have to be healthy.
I have to drop these extra 55 pounds.
And I have to figure out how.

Lessons learned:

What worked last time may not be what I need this time.
I've decided to start weighing myself daily again.
Once upon a time, I had an obsession with the scale, like so many others have had.
It became unhealthy, so I decided to only weigh once a week.
But now I think I need to do it every morning, at least for a while.

Tuesday I weighed 190.1.
Then I had a complete melt-down yesterday, and went crazy eating myself to death.
I checked again today, 190.5.
At this rate, I will be 200 lbs by 10th of May.
Shit no! I am not going down this road!

But I can't really focus on the whole "lose 1 lb each week."
I feel like I have no control over tomorrow or the next day.
But I do have control over what I chose to do today.
So today, I am working towards getting the scale to be something less than 190.5.
Even if it's 190.4 - I'll take it.
A tiny step in the right direction is still the right direction, even if it's tiny.

But understand this: if it goes up, I won't beat myself up over it.
I'll just try again the next day.
And the next.
And the next.
Because if I try, I will succeed.

I need to strengthen my Will Power.
I have to decide and stick with it.
I said before, I feel like I have no control over tomorrow.
But I can commit to saying "Today I will go to the gym, no matter what."
I can say "If I crave sweets, I'll have a cup of tea, but I'm not allowed to touch the dessert in the fridge, just for today."
I can say "Today I'll make myself some brown rice to put the Beef Stroganoff on, even though my family is having it over pasta, just to make sure the scale goes down and not up."

Focusing on each and every moment - knowing that this moment's decisions will shape the next.
This is important.
And I will use Will Power to chose good choices.

That's it for today!

Highest Weight Ever... today.

So I was startlingly right.
The scale said 190.1.
I was so amazed that I checked a few times.
It's the first time I've been this big, ever!
This is truly my last chance.
Because if I don't do something now, I'm well on my way to 200+.
And I canNOT let that happen.

So Monday, yesterday, I did get up early (5:20am) and go to the gym.
I was expecting a Body Pump class.
But what I got was 30 min Pump, and 30 min Body Attack!
Yikes!
I avoid Body Attack like the plague. I'm much too big to be giggling around the gym, jumping and going crazy.
But I did it!
And I was proud.
And now I am sore.

But that is the reason the scale went up 2 lbs today.
It always goes up like that after the "first" work-out after time away.

But now the good news: That means I only need to go down to 188.5 or so by next Tuesday (which, I suppose, will be my weekly weigh-in day.)
That's not too hard since I've been hovering at 188-189 for months and months and months.
It's the 186 that will be hard to get to.
That requires:
actual hard work,
actual dedication,
consistent training,
appetite control,
and healthy food choices.

I use to be good at all that.
And I know how.
It's just the actual doing it.

So here's my plan for week 1:
Exercise.
Baby steps.
No crazy jumping in the deep end.
Just small adjustments.
And because my gym is offering a 6-week challenge, I'll focus on that this week.
If I go to 28 group fitness classes before the end of May, I'll go in the draw to win free membership for three months.
That's like winning $250.
I could use that!
Plus you get the added bonus of transforming your body (inevitable for anyone doing 28 classes in 6 weeks!)

So that means I have to do 1 class each day, and 1 over the weekend.
Today, I have to do the Body Pump class (again) because that's the only time I can go.
Tomorrow... I'm gonna be sore.
And I'm gonna be one step closer to fit.

It Starts

So, yesterday Johnny (my husband) tells me to cancel my gym membership...

"...since you're not going to use it."

An hour later, I'm grocery shopping, and run into my gym buddy.
We chat.
We say goodbye...
nearly.
"Wednesday morning?"
Oh! She want's me to go to the gym.
So I launch into the whole "Johnny told me to cancel my membership" story.
She said she could do Fridays as well as Wednesdays.

I think...

and think a bit more...

That only leaves me Monday morning to go myself, and then my gym bill is justifiable.

Yes. I can do that.

But here's the story.

I'm a notorious Yo-Yo Dieter.

I was a chubby kid
Skinny pre-teen
"chubby" (180 lb) 17 yo.
and a healthy 20 yo.
A "bigger" 23 yo
and a nice, balanced healthy 24-28 yo. (give or take 20 lbs, up and down, up and down.)

But now, I'm 30.
And I'm creeping up on 190 lbs.

Actually, my official weigh-in will be tomorrow morning.
I expect to see 190.1.
I haven't yet seen 19 something... ever (besides my first pregnancy a week before giving birth).
But seeing 188-189 for months and months, It's like my biggest fear.

Anyway, I have SO much I could say on this.

But the heart of the matter is this:

I'm 30.
I'm not getting any younger.
In fact, I'm getting older.
I want to be healthy, fit, and feel fit.
So this is my Last Chance.
No more ups and downs.
I'm going for it.
And I'll document my journey here.
So one day, I can inspire others.
Because I know in my whole being that I can do this.
And not just do it once and gain it back.
I know that I can transform my life, and my body, and stay that healthy fit person forever.